Her Story is My Story (1)

"Baby, it's over."
"What's over, Momma?"

In the past few months I had grown used to getting panicked random phone calls from her. Many not making sense. "Momma, pull over to the nearest crossroad and tell me the address. I'll get you home." "Momma, I need to know your hospital schedule for the week, so I can make sure you have transportation." "Momma, I'm emailing you your dinner delivery schedule. Please make sure you go to your gate at 5:15 to pick up your dinner. Yes, I know that little diner you like. Yes, I remembered to ask for extra ketchup. Please try to eat something, Momma."

"Baby, it's over."
"What's over, Momma?"
"They are dismissing me. There's nothing left to do."
"What does that mean, Momma?"
"It means I'm going to die. I'm done."

Over the last two years we knew she was going to die. Two years prior she was time stamped with a six month expiration date. Two years later she was done. There were no more trials to apply to be a part of, no more experimentals, no more Avastin and esophageal blisters. No more first thing in the morning phone calls holding my breath hoping that she answers so I knew she hadn't died over night.

When she was first diagnosed, I was pregnant with her first grandchild, a grandchild that she wasn't supposed to have given my health issues. For the first trimester of my pregnancy, she was cancer free in theory. We didn't know. We didn't know for what her doctors at MD Anderson think was at least 15 years. To say she was excited to be a grandma was quite the understatement. She was that lady who carried around the ultrasound picture of the chicken nugget blob and showed the grocery store checkout clerk. By the time she was diagnosed in my second trimester with neuro endocrine carcinoid tumors, I was just praying that she lived long enough to meet my child.

They said six months at the most. Clearly her medical team didn't know who they were treating. This lady was frustratingly stubborn and charmingly hard headed. She wanted to meet her grandchild, so she was going to meet her grandchild.  And she did.