Tuesday, August 12, 2014

damn it.

two in one week.  two friends were taken by cancer within the last week.  two friends completely unrelated in circles to one another died.  from cancer.  in the last week.  damn it.  i will never understand.  i rejoice in the success stories.  in the winners circle.  for the lucky ones.  i am faint to use the word "blessed".  because i don't think my mother or bob or becky were not "blessed".  it is the luck of the draw.  and i don't know how you pull the golden ticket.  i wish with all of my heart that i did.  instead of doling out advice on how to rid the esophageal tract of chemo blisters or recipes to increase white blood cell counts or where to buy the warmest, yet still stylish, millinery for bald cancer heads... i wish i could hand out the lucky numbers for the cancer lottery.  but i don't have them.  and i don't understand.  and it's days like these... two in one week... that i would really like to know why.  tomorrow i will go back to giving cancer advice.  real advice, like what do you do when they can't stop vomiting blood (watch the color carefully). or whom do i call when insurance says they won't pay (i've numbers for you to call).  or my mom is stubborn and won't let me drive her to oncology appointments but she isn't safe to drive (i've got your back on that one too.)  but for now, damn it.  damn it all.